Finding Beauty Beyond Hair: My Experience as a Mom of a Child with Alopecia Areata

The Moment We Found Out

Mahaila was 2 years old when we first noticed a small bald patch on her scalp. I took her for a haircut before vacation, and our hairstylist mentioned alopecia areata but also wondered if she might be pulling her own hair.

While on vacation, I kept an eye on her. I remember looking back in the car and seeing a clump of hair in her hand. Again, we weren’t sure—had she pulled it out? When we got home, the hair loss continued.

This was at the height of COVID, making it difficult to get a doctor’s appointment. When we finally saw her pediatrician, we got the diagnosis: alopecia areata, an autoimmune condition that causes hair loss. We were told it might be temporary or lifelong—there was no way to know.

Navigating the Unknown: Processing the Diagnosis

As a parent, the news was devastating. Like any mom, I wanted the best for my child. To hear that she was losing her hair to a condition I had never even heard of was overwhelming.

A close friend gave me advice that I still hold onto today: “Figure out how to work through your emotions first, because even if she’s too young to understand, she’s feeding off your energy.”

I remember one night when she was 2 going on 3. I was giving her a bath, adding extra conditioner, carefully brushing through her hair to avoid pulling. But large clumps of hair kept coming out in my hands. I held back tears, feeling my chest tighten. When I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my husband came in, hugged me, and told me to take a moment while he finished her bath.

It was a confusing, emotional time with so many unanswered questions:

• Why did this happen?

• Is there an underlying cause?

• Is this my fault somehow?

• How do I discipline her when she’s already going through something hard?

• Is it wrong to feel this way when some children have life-threatening conditions?

Supporting Mahaila: From Hiding to Embracing

For the first few years, I researched everything I could about alopecia in children. I visited dermatologists, asked for extra testing, and desperately wanted to find a cure for alopecia—but this wasn’t something I could fix.

Instead, I realized: We couldn’t hide it anymore.

I had to come to terms with it before she became aware of what was happening. I needed to be strong for her.

• We encouraged her girly-girl style, letting her wear beautiful dresses, makeup, and fun hats.

• We tried colorful synthetic wigs, though she didn’t love them at first. Eventually, she found a favorite—the Seaglass-R Miley wig from Lori’s Wigsite.

• We tested alopecia treatments recommended by dermatologists, but they would work for a while and then stop.

The summer before kindergarten, we decided to stop all medications and see what happened. We shaved her head and spent the summer playing outside. Her hair grew back beautifully!

Then kindergarten started. Within a month—after the stress of starting school, moving to a new home, and possibly mold exposure—she lost all of her hair again. This time, she noticed the difference between herself and her classmates.

Dealing With Reactions: Educating Others About Alopecia

Our close family and friends knew, but strangers didn’t. When we went out in public without a wig or hat, people stared but didn’t ask questions.

At gymnastics, she had to go without a wig. Though she loved practicing at home, she didn’t enjoy going to class—probably because she felt different.

One of the hardest moments was when we visited her great-grandmother after years apart. She started the trip wearing her rainbow wig, but it got itchy on the drive. The moment she stepped out of the car with patchy hair, my grandma gasped—probably fearing cancer.

That moment taught us something: Education is key.

By explaining alopecia areata to family, we helped grow Mahaila’s support system. With every conversation, she felt more comfortable and less like she needed to hide.

Finding Community & Strength

Did I say I worked through my emotions so I could help her? Well, let me tell you—no matter how much I prepared, I still cried a lot. Never in front of her, but I grieved the “what-ifs” of her future.

I found strength in researching alopecia, and I wanted to make sure her classmates understood it, too.

• I created simple PowerPoints to explain alopecia to kids.

• I presented them in her kindergarten and first-grade classes, and Mahaila loved standing in front of her peers, passing out gift bags, and taking charge.

• In first grade, we used a superhero theme, and her brother Logan and I helped the kids decorate masks.

We also started getting involved in the alopecia community:

• We attended the National Alopecia Areata Foundation’s (NAAF) Walk for Alopecia.

• This year, we plan to go to NAAF’s annual conference, and we’re so excited!

Advice for Other Parents of a Child with Alopecia

If you’re reading this because your child has alopecia areata, I want you to know you are not alone.

• Find a support system. Join alopecia groups, talk to other parents, and connect with families who understand.

• Be open about it. In the beginning, I tried to help Mahaila hide it—that was the wrong choice. Instead, help your child build confidence and embrace their uniqueness.

• Educate others. Teachers, classmates, and family members may not understand what alopecia is. Teaching them helps create a more supportive environment.

• Connect with us! If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!

Have you or a loved one experienced alopecia? Share your story in the comments below, or find us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok (@strongbeyondstrands). Together, we can build a community where no one feels alone.